Over the years, our bosses have made various efforts to appear human. They have decorated their offices with photos of people they claim are their family, they have organised “relaxed” away days and danced “wildly” at office parties. They have expressed genuine interest in non-core subjects such as Love Island and our new dog (“or was it a baby?”). Like the alien in the television show Mork & Mindy, they have descended to our planet with only occasional mishaps.
But there was a simpler way. Really, if our overlords wanted to seem normal, all they needed to do was quit. Nothing humanises a boss like their resignation. One day they are a two-dimensional corporate animal, weirdly passionate about the global organigram, and the next they are a person with needs and desires that cannot be met by an 8.15am Microsoft Teams meeting. Maybe, behind the facade, it was just a job to them, too. Maybe they, like us, found Sunday evenings a bit depressing. Maybe they also thought the company’s mission a bit pointless.
Take this headline on Thursday: “Jupiter CEO Quits $68 Billion Firm to Sit at the Beach and ‘Do Nothing’.” Yes, Andrew Formica, head of UK fund manager Jupiter, announced that he was quitting to spend more time with his family in his native Australia. “I just want to go sit at the beach and do nothing,” he told Bloomberg. “I’m not thinking about anything else.”