The Shrink
In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote the following self-exhortation: “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”
For Marcus Aurelius, this was part of a broader project of cultivating a rational attitude to life. But even if stoicism is not your thing, it can be an efficient method of self-protection. By keeping our expectations low, we minimise the disappointment we are liable to experience when people – work colleagues, shopkeepers, romantic partners – behave in selfish, rude, inconsiderate, unfair or disloyal ways. If we find ourselves thinking that so-and-so should have known better or been more caring, we can just remind ourselves that this is what people are often like – it is our expectations that are at fault.