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Facebook’s problems will follow it into the metaverse

A new name and a rebrand won’t fix a company that seems unable to learn from past mistakes

Let’s suppose you go to a cosmetic surgeon. The surgeon is young, cheap and keen and, along with some good work, disfigures you. You complain, and he tries a few fixes. Then he says he’s apologised enough. He’s moved on. He no longer considers himself a cosmetic surgeon: he’s exploring new challenges. Could he interest you in a heart transplant?

This is basically what is happening at Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg’s behemoth has horribly disfigured parts of our public sphere. But it is moving on. It wants to be known less for Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp, and more for the “metaverse” — the mix of internet, virtual reality and augmented reality that could create a much more immersive digital experience. According to tech website The Verge, Facebook will make clear its reincarnation this month by unveiling a new corporate name.

A new name! Maybe Zuckerberg is the only adult on earth who saw rapper Kanye West legally become Ye, and thought, “Mmm, cool guy.” Will Facebook now follow asset manager Standard Life Aberdeen, delete all its vowels, and end up as fcbk? Will it create an anodyne parent, like Google’s Alphabet? A rebrand is a world of possibility. If Facebook wants a conventional name, I gather Standard Oil is available. Indeed, officially, there’s no one called The Mafia. That would certainly silence the critics.

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